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| for somehow.. I saw the world in a whole new light... =0
definitely worth all the trouble I had to go through -_-"
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| had a dream back in high school - when days were much simplier & filled with just fun & games
for somehow, life's never the same after you grow up - you see things more differently - & you see the worries & troubles your friends & family around you have.
Before, it seemed you're only an observer, just wandering around doing your own thing - however you want it
Now it seems, everyone wants a part of you - & everyone has their opinion in what you should do with your life..
(from co-workers to friends to parents to relatives, etc)
So what happened to just doing my own thing? Was I too naive to think that I still have the freedom to do whatever I wanted?
Or did I just receive too much love, care & freedom when I was a teen?
& does life really suck this much? & if so, why wasn't I informed earlier -_-"?
blah.......
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| 3 am - just woke up from my 7 hr nap & overheard my landlord & his girlfriend fighting..
so I decided to get my food ready (since I have no idea what meal it is..) & thoughts starting popping into my head:
reason why I don't have a girlfriend: I don't wanna baby-sit..
dunno why.. but most girls these days are so spoiled that they're beyond repair.. yet somehow you have to live with these ppl.
one example is this 18 year old first year psych student called Sarah. She came to work buzzed on weed, got made fun of by Denni & said the reason of smoking weed is that her life is sad. Sigh..
Anyways, since Denni was a jerk, I decided to walk to the student center (instead of riding in the van with them). By the "eager" look I saw when he was unloading the van with Sarah, I knew he got his share of punishment. (I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how to get along with white women =\)
then again, I know though he's a jerk on the outside, he probably wouldn't add salt to wound on a 1 on 1 basis (unless that person is reasonably proud to begin with..)
in the end, I still had to unload the van with sarah, so I decided to give her proper instructions & make her useful. Let's hope that she felt useful afterwards too.
talking about self-esteem problems, emoness & other stuff, it reminds me of Flo. & the exact reason why I didn't get into a relationship with her in the first place. & in the end, she went her way & I went mine, & I don't regret it (ok, maybe I do miss some of our moments ><) but ya, despite being 4 yrs older than me, she really had some self-esteem problems among other things =\
let's hope God does a wonderful job in fixing her.. or else.. I don't think there's even a slight chance that we can get in a relationship =\
as for me.. I guess I'd have to continue God's work.. & I guess through my work.. & continue to encourage & educate ppl that's in need (& its scary how close those ppl can be - most ppl think they need to volunteer & stuff.. but don't realize that their family members, friends & co-workers are ppl that need our service too)
- don't even get me into talking about ministering to these ppl
north american ppl have some skewed way of thinking that getting ppl to say a prayer is equal to knowing God. Well, let me tell you this: you're all gonna die in hell (& I'm serious about this)
but this can be left to be logged another day.
extras: reading hitman reborn again
bleach is good xD~
ppl are emo - no matter how much they hide it
& working is like training for a marathon - you just have to endure it =\
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| just wanted to say something :0
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| I'm jealous.. never knew that I could be.. but I am..
I pray this goes away
song of the day: numb
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